


Loneliness bonds

by SpookyStar29



Category: NCIS
Genre: Comfort, Exes, F/F, Friendship, Heartbreak, Past and present relationships, Trust, equally hurt, special way of getting over a guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22987345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyStar29/pseuds/SpookyStar29
Summary: * I wasn't even goin' out tonightBut, boy, I need to get you off of my mindI know exactly what I have to doI don't wanna be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonightI’m dancing with a stranger *They are both lonely. Love didn’t make it easy for them.But as they meet each other, the world suddenly makes a little more sense again …But can life go on like it has before? Does the earth still turn the same for them tomorrow? Days after?
Relationships: Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane/Hollis Mann
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moxyphinx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moxyphinx/gifts).



> This story was based on the Tumblr prompt   
> Sat 22th - Fri 28st : “SHARING A BED”
> 
> #FemslashFebruary is over, but I couldn’t post it earlier.   
> I always thought different of such a scene, but I had that story going on and I thought okay, this might be a good possibility to upload it … 
> 
> I always thought that Jack could be a sultry drunk. Like a person without limits. And I guessed Hollis would be an emotional wrack, basically the opposite of how she is usually. So … I really don’t know what I was thinking but I liked where my mind was leading me. And I had learned to trust myself and to follow my “instincts” – especially if that instinct leads me into some (naughty) gay stuff. I live for gay stuff.   
> Kind of an AU.   
> Hollis and Jack are in the same age, Hollis hasn’t quit CID. That thing with Gibbs is over for (what I guess) four years.   
> That’s all you need to know. 
> 
> (in this story Jack is bisexual and Hollis, well, let’s use the expression “drunk in love” )

She had foreseen it. She had even expected it. But still it hit her full force.   
Of course he was hesitant. He didn’t say no, but he also didn’t say yes. She had no idea what to think about that. All she knew was … she was angry, frustrated and anxious. If she pushed him, she knew that wouldn’t end well. She would lose him. And she couldn’t lose the man she loved.

That was why Jacqueline Sloane found herself getting out of a taxi on a Friday night, knowing all she wanted to do now was to get drunk.

*

Maybe it was the way her hair was braided in that very special way. Maybe it was because she stood out from the crowd, somehow. Or maybe Jack noticed her because it was her job to notice people and little things, and for her it made no sense what a woman like her was doing at the bar, alone, two empty glasses in front of her and in the middle of downing a third as a guy approached her.   
Jack felt the hair on her neck strain as she sensed trouble. Her body language was clear as crystal – she didn’t want this kind of attention.

And she decided to step in.

“There you are”, she said loud enough for all of them to hear. The guys and the woman turned around, but she decided to just go straight to business. With a fake smile she glared at them and spoke in an overly dead-sugary voice: “Hello. Should I know you?”  
She placed a hand on the stranger woman’s arm to not come through as another creep but to show her affection. It took the blonde just seconds to understand. Luckily she played along instantly.   
“You’re late”, she said, lips turning into a smile. And for the first time Jack was really looking at her. She couldn’t avoid the realization that she was indeed a catch. She was pretty, but her eyes were beautiful. Mesmerizing, olivegreen, sparkling in an almost amberish tone, bright and big, awake, and cautious. And also … sensual.   
“Sorry”, she said, enjoying the game already. “Stuff to do. Work kept me longer than I would have thought.”  
The Blonde nodded, lips curling into a smile. Hell, the adjective “attractive” didn’t give her justice at all.   
One of the guys really had the audacity to clear his throat. Jack as well as her “date” turned to look at him.   
“So may we … get you a drink?”   
She almost burst into laughter at the cheekiness.   
“In case you haven’t realized, I already have a date.” She shot her a look and then really, really leaned in closer until they almost touched.   
Jack wasn’t sure if it was just her personal bisexual orientation, but the spark in those greenish eyes shot a heat bulb right through her body. But considering the look the two men gave each other it wasn’t only her own imagination. Well … at least if those guys needed any more trust she really wouldn’t hesitate or mind kissing her at all. And according to the way the other blonde was fake-undressing her with looks probably meant she wouldn’t be, either.   
One of them coughed which was the reason they broke eye contact. “Problem, sir?”, Jack asked overly friendly, eyes shooting daggers.   
She couldn’t picture if they were horrified, shocked or going through a mental phantasy about two women making out. “No, just …”  
“Unexpected.” The other guy ended.   
Jack nodded and lifted her jaw. “Well then, if you excuse us. We both would like some private time here.”

Lucky for them they finally got the implication, cause Jack knew if they would have kept standing there for just five seconds longer she probably would have thrown them out, personally.

As they were gone and out of earsight, the blonde exhaled.   
“Thank you”, she said. “I really didn’t need trouble coming in the form of a man tonight.”   
Jack smiled and gave her a look.   
Now she knew it.   
It was intelligence. This woman exuded intelligence. And power. And moreover, she didn’t seem like someone who could be either fooled or be harassed – THAT was probably the reason Jack felt there was something wrong.

“You played along well”, she admitted.  
“Well, I had to.” A smirk. “Didn’t mind it, though.” Jack only hoped she just imagined her flustered cheeks. “You do that often? Saving women from guys?”, the blonde asked.   
She shook her head. “Actually you’re the first one since my years in university.”

And then the woman surprised her as she tapped on the bar next to her.   
“Have a seat. We should maintain our “relationship status”.”   
Jack grinned and happily took the offer. “Thanks.” She slid onto the seat next to her and held up her hand, ordering a drink.

While she was waiting, she caught a glance on her neighbor. Now that all the playfulness and fake-flirting were gone something completely different was shining through. Her eyes were clouded in sadness and she was overplaying it with keeping a stern face, jaw clenched and lips pressed together. In fact … if she didn’t know it better she looked like she was short before bursting into tears or crumbling down any moment.   
She was great at preventing the first one, and she wouldn’t let the other happen.   
“Bad day?”, she asked.   
The woman signed. “How do you know?”  
“It’s my job to read people. And because I’m here because of the same reason as you.”

She fell silent as the bartender approached with her drink, placing it in front of her. She nodded and gave him a smile indicating her thanks.

“Heartbreak?”  
Jack nodded.   
“Woman or man?”  
“A man”, Jack said, appreciating the fact she wasn’t rescritive. Apparently she was someone who thought through what she wanted to say. “A … let’s say a complicated one.”  
She stopped for a moment. Ah, screw it. Since they were already talking about it … “Have never such problems with women, though. Probably I should stick to them.”

IF her neighbor wanted to say something about that, she kept it to herself. And Jack was kind of glad for that.

“I’m Jacqueline, by the way”, she broke the silence. “But call me Jack.”  
The Blonde gave her a slight smile, though her eyes were still clouded with deep sadness and despair. “Hollis. Call me …” She waved. “I don’t know. Whatever you want.”   
“Hollis. The holly tree.”  
Hollis snorted. “Well right now I feel more like a fragile daisy.” She turned the glass around, fingertips running over the material.   
Jack eyed her. Suspicious but never judging. “How many did you have?”   
Hollis shrugged. “Not enough, I guess.”   
“You wanna talk about it?”, she asked softly.   
She saw Hollis’ back tensing. “My boyfriend”, she gritted out. “Found out he has a fiancé. I left him. I don’t even know if I should feel stupid or hurt for not realizing that earlier.” She signed in resignation and didn’t even leave Jack an opportunity to feel sorry. “How about you?”  
Jack bit back her whatever she might have wanted to say to express her sympathy and decided to answer her. “Let’s say … I have no idea if he feels the way I do, and I have carried that burden for months now, and today I finally took all my strength together and told him … you know, that I liked him, like a lot, and … if he’d give it a go.”  
Hollis eyes quivered. They really did, pupils delating and vibrating. “And he …”  
“Got interrupted by his damn phone.” Jack snorted. “Not that he usually hates those things, but in that moment it seemed like a very welcoming thing to him.”   
Hollis snorted. “I wonder how a guy could ever not give it a go with you. I mean, you’re gorgeous.”

Jack didn’t expect AT ALL that she would possibly feel flattered after this day. But holy hell, she felt her cheeks grow burning red.   
“Ah … thank you.” She swallowed and too her strength back together. “You too.”   
Hollis made a sound like a sarcastic laughter. “You’re just saying this because I started it.”  
Finally, Jack got her courage back. “No”, she said sternly and looked at Hollis. “No, not at all.”

They found themselves staring at each other for what felt like a good twenty seconds, even though it was probably just five.   
Then, Jack cleared her throat. It was new for her that someone was actually making her nervous …

“So what are you doing for a living, if I may ask?”  
Hollis seemed to have forgotten her drink. “I’m working for Army CID.”  
She gave her a onceover. “Well, that fits.”   
A raised eyebrow, tilted her, jawline sharp. The alcohol was DEFINITALY forgotten. “Why do you think so?”  
Jack went for it. “You have this … demeanor. Even though being drunk.” _  
_“I’m not drunk.”  
That released a chuckle out of her and she pursed her lips not to start poking. “Okay. Then, because I know Army-people very good.” She saw Hollis opening her mouth to ask what she meant by that, and she simply said “BTDT.”  
She would lie if that once-over the other blonde gave her as realization settled in wouldn’t give her goosebumps.

They sat in silence for a while. It was pleasant silence, though.   
Until and all of a sudden Hollis slammed her hand on the counter. “I’m just so fucking sick of being alone!”   
Jack jumped and stared at her. Even the bartender gave them a look, but luckily he was reluctant to step in. Maybe it was also the look Jack gave him. She could handle this.   
Hopefully.   
“Why is it so hard for me to keep someone close? And why … why does it feel like everyone just uses me for a while and then gets tired?”   
Jack felt a tickle starting at the beginning of her spine and slowly spreading out in her body, burning. The words left her lips without her even really thinking about the consequences.   
“We don’t have to be alone tonight, you know.”  
Hollis stilled. Then blinked. “Are you suggesting …” She fell silent. Jack just looked at her, and she did the same.   
They STARED at each other. This time it really felt like an eternity. Jack felt her breathing speed up and slow down, stopping rapidly only to increase seconds later. She took in the expression in her counterparts green eyes, followed every line on her face – wondering how a guy could leave and ever hurt this woman.

And then it happened. It just did.   
Without a warning Hollis leaned forward and kissed her. Jack was totally taken by surprise.

For a moment, at least. But the second she realized what was happening and that the feeling inside her wasn’t shock but pure want, it was already too late. Hollis pulled away, panic written all over her face.   
“Oh god.” She turned away and covered her mouth with her hand, shaking her head. “Jack, I’m so sorry, I …” She got up, almost jumping, shortly before rushing out.   
“Hollis, wait.” Jack grabbed her by the arm. “I don’t want to be alone tonight. And I think you don’t want it either.”   
The other woman just stared at her as if she were trying to process what was happening here.   
“One word, Hollis. I won’t force you to anything. I just want to know if …”  
“I don’t”, she said, whispering.   
Jack blinked. “What?”  
“Being alone tonight.”

Another five seconds stare into each other’s eyes and that was it. That was all she needed.   
Within seconds she had made up her mind.   
She pulled out her wallet and left some money at the bar before giving Hollis another look. “C’mon, let’s get a taxi.”  
She got up and waited. Hollis looked back and forth, between her own drink and Jack’s. Then she left some dollars, too.   
Jack held out her hand. And as Hollis took it, a warm feeling spread out into her body.

It took only ten seconds for them to find a taxi. After a look to her friend – or whatever they were – Hollis gave her a nod. She gave him his address.

After that, they didn’t speak a word. It was a strained, heated silence.   
A tension begging to be released.

She caught Hollis looking at her and turned her head. Bit her lip. For the first time this evening she saw Hollis faltering in a completely different way. On one hand, she looked as if she were shortly before jumping out of the driving car. Simultaneously her eyes were burning with desire and want. Jack felt sorry for the poor taxi driver who was probably constantly praying they wouldn’t rip their clothes off every moment.   
Good that the army taught some stamina and self-composure.

*

Jack decided to pay and didn’t leave Hollis the option to contribute. The little smile she gave her was worth more than the price. After all, SHE had made the suggestion.   
But Hollis had kissed her first. So she wasn’t innocent either.

On their way upstairs something shifted. Jack FELT it.

The second the door of her apartment fell close the “eye-sex”-thing they had exercised before stopped and Hollis … Hollis was seemingly unsure of herself and what she was doing here.

Jack stepped closer, ignoring the burning in her stomach and lower.   
This wasn’t about passion. This was about making themselves feel better.   
It was about emotion.   
Softly, she touched her arm. “Hollis. I want you to know whenever you feel like you don’t want to proceed, tell me and we’ll stop.”  
Even though she really, really didn’t want her to do so. But she would NEVER, ever force anyone to something like this.   
Hollis shook her head. “I don’t want to leave. And I want this.”

Jack smiled. She brought up her hand and gently caressed her cheek. As Hollis leaned into her touch she saw the way her eyelids trembled.   
“Don’t cry, beautiful”, she whispered, whipping the tear with her thumb.   
Hollis opened her eyes again, voice low and full of longing. “Kiss me, Jack.” She stepped closer. “Just kiss me.”   
She leaned in, her hands on Hollis’ waist, catching her eyes. “With pleasure.”

They slowly made their way to the bedroom, all soft kisses and tentative touches. Her skirt was the first to go, Hollis’ jeans and her shirt second. Jack took her in silently, admiring her toned arms and stomach, the tanned skin, glimmering in the dim light.

“I would like to leave it on”, she said the second Jack’s hand moved near the clasp of her bra. She immediately stilled and nodded. “Of course.”   
She wasn’t fond of taking off her shirt, either. It still was some kind of … barrier she couldn’t overcome.   
She didn’t recuse herself though, instead trailing smoothly along her ribcage, caressing her soft skin. “Is it okay if I touch you, though?” She knew Hollis knew what she meant.   
Hollis nodded. “Please.” This time it was her to lean in, and Jack willingly let her take the control as long as she felt comfortable.

Hollis was on her back on the mattress quickly and Jack leaned in, halfway on top of her. They went on kissing, over and over again, slowing down and speeding up, and it almost made her go crazy. She felt Hollis turn dizzy and soft, tension falling from her, and that was what made her relax, too.   
Her hand followed an invisible path from her lips to her jawline along her throat, and she felt her pulse beat strong against her fingertips.   
“You nervous?” She caught Hollis’ eyes, waiting until she looked at her.  
What she saw WAS nervousness. Nervousness but also … excitement.   
“I … I have never been with a woman before.”

Jack stilled. She wasn’t sure if it was the fast and honest answer or if she really had expected it to be different.   
Anyways, it didn’t matter.

She nodded, smiling. “That’s okay. Don’t worry.”   
Actually, it was more than okay.   
She went on with her path, trailing down between her breasts, lower, to her waist, pulling her in. Hollis let out a soft moan as their tongues touched and the kisses turned heated, more passionate than before, but never leaving its affection. The sweet and innocent sign coming from her caused her heart to beat faster and stronger, a warm feeling spreading out within her. She trailed along her thighs and felt her tensing, every inch of her muscles under her fingertips straining.   
She smiled to herself. It was so easy to seduce her, to turn her soft. It really was completely different with a woman who only had been with guys before. Not much she could do wrong there.  
She changed directions and caressed the smooth skin at the inside of her thighs, enjoying Hollis’ little noises of affection. Jack signed against her cheek and finally whispered what she had been thinking from the first moment on. “You are so beautiful.”   
It took only two seconds. As she pulled back she was granted with a sight she hadn’t expected.   
A tear running over Hollis’ cheek. Jack felt her heart clench and she kissed it away.   
“It’s okay, Holly”, she breathed. “I got you.”   
Another tremble. “Just let it go, okay? Just feel. Relax.”   
She pulled back to look at her one more time before placing her hand right above her heart. “Tell me what you want.”   
Hollis was staring up at her as if she had never seen her before – well, to her credit, she had never been with a woman in this position before.   
“I just … I don’t just want to feel wanted.” She swallowed. “I want to FEEL. To be … appreciated.”  
Jack caressed her cheek. It was so EASY with her. “I will do that. I promise.”   
A flicker appeared in Hollis’ eyes. And then she reached out to her face, thumb running over her cheek. “And what do you want?”, she asked softly.   
That was the moment Jack knew this woman would be a wonderful partner. How could that idiot of a guy NOT see that.   
She smiled and suppressed the urge of leaning in an kissing her palm. Something held her back. “Simply someone who understands. Who’s my equal.”   
Hollis nodded. Smiled, too.   
The first, real smile this evening. She had a beautiful, wonderful smile. “Okay.” Another affectionate, soft touch on her face before she grabbed her hand to interlace their fingers. As she spoke, her green eyes burned themselves into Jack’s own. “I understand.”

As their lips met for another kiss Jack knew there was so much more of a meaning in that word than Hollis had probably intended.


	2. Chapter 2

She woke up to the sunrays, just as she always did. Her inner alarm had never betrayed her. She stifled a yawn and instead rubbed her eyes, moving around.   
Until she realized her bedsheets weren’t dark green. And her bedroom’s walls weren’t light grey. And her window was smaller.   
And overall, she usually didn’t sleep nude with only a Shirt on which wasnt even _hers._

Hollis stilled.   
Then she turned around. Her heart jumped a little as she made out the blonde shock of hair sprawled out on the pillow and the woman sound asleep next to her. She was on her stomach, head tilted away from her, breath going smooth and relaxed.

She closed her eyes for another moment and allowed herself to dive back into the past evening, the past night.

Did she really just do that?

She had slept with a woman. A wonderful, gorgeous, soft, mesmerizing woman. Who was more than just her looks, a lot more.

In a long time she had never felt that much comfort when sleeping with someone. It had been surprisingly easy and comfortable – without bonds or restrictions, and yet so completely new.

Usually she didn’t do that. She didn’t just jump into bed with some random stranger, especially not because of another guy breaking her heart.   
But Jack … Jack was different.   
The woman had stepped up and saved her. She had shown interest in her problems. She had just been there for her. Somehow she hadn’t felt like a stranger.   
Hollis trusted her. She didn’t trust a lot of people. But she had done so with Jack the moment they had first locked eyes.

Tentatively to not wake her she pulled back to covered and slipped into her clothes, then got up to stare out the window. Yesterday she had been too … busy to notice anything so she took advantage of it now.

Not long though. She heard the blankets shift and only seconds later Jack’s soft voice, a little hoarse from sleep. “Hey. You awake already?”  
She turned around and smiled. Sleepy Jack was kind of cute. “I’m an early bird.”   
“No hangover?”  
She shook her head. That was actually some kind of miracle.

Jack sat up straight and yawned, stretching her arms. Hollis couldn’t help but smile and confess she was adorable.

But something was different. They butterflies, the heat in her stomach, they were gone. At it wasn’t because the woman facing her now had ruffled hair instead of perfect beach waves or wasn’t wearing make-up. She was still incredibly beautiful.   
But … she didn’t _feel_ it anymore.

“Thank you for not disappearing.” Jack’s voice send her back to reality.   
She nodded. “No reason to. I … I didn’t want to make you feel as if it would have been a mistake.”

Her mind travelled back to one certain night, one man, about four years ago …

“You could have woken me up, you know”, Jack smiled.   
Hollis shook her head, fiddling with the hem of her shirt, lost in thought. “I didn’t want to. You looked so … peaceful.”

And then silence. A very long silence.

“Are you okay?”  
Jack’s tentative and sweet spoken question made her turn. For a moment she had no idea what to answer, couldn’t even really take a grip on her emotions. All she knew was … they were running wild and crazy, fighting over each other.   
She wasn’t used to that. Usually she was in total control of herself. She always knew what her actions might cause, what would happen as a chain reaction, she never did something she wasn’t sure about.   
Until now.   
The first emotion she was sure about feeling was nervousness.   
And that was when Jack held up her finger. “Don’t you make the attempt to lie. I can read you.”

Hollis shut her mouth, jaw clenching.   
Yes. She had been shortly before saying “I’m okay. This is just knew for me.”  
It would have been a lie.   
Somehow she wasn’t okay.

“Something is bugging you.”   
Jack pulled back the covers, too. Luckily she had thrown on something after their … “encounter”, was now wearing a huge, oversized t-shirt.

Hollis straightened up.   
Lying wouldn’t get her anyway, and Jack deserved the truth. She was a shrink, after all. She could handle it.   
“You are right.” She moved back to the bed and sat down at its end.

Silence, again. Jack sat down next to her. Close enough, apart enough.

She took another deep breath.   
_Don’t hurt her. Don’t._  
“Jack, I like you, but …” A sign. “I don’t know.”  
“You like me but you don’t love me. At least you’re not in love with me.”

Finally she got the courage to look at her.   
Jack, that gorgeous stranger yet familiar friend with big, brown eyes and honeyblonde hair, was smiling at her, all sleepiness gone. She was just a beautiful person, inside and out, one of the most wonderful people she had ever met. How could that guy she fell for not see that?

That was why Hollis Mann did what she always did. She was being honest.   
She reached out for her hand and was delighted as Jack squeezed it back.

“You deserve to be loved, Jack”, she said silently and full of truth. “Fully, completely. And I’m sorry … I’m sorry that I can’t give that to you.”  
“Oh you can. You did.”   
The undertone and the flicker in Jack’s brown eyes were enough to send heat into her cheeks. She turned away for a moment, collecting herself.   
Jack’s grip on her hand grew tighter. “Hollis, there is no way I had the intention of getting layed yesterday. I wasn’t looking for a hook up. It was just … the right time, the right moment.   
We were equally broken. ARE equally broken.”  
She reached out to put a strand of hair behind her ear. Hollis felt her eyes fall shut. All she wanted to do was curl up in her embrace and not leave her for hours.

She WANTED this woman in her life.   
It had taken her some time but now she knew that one for sure.

“We were lonely, Hollis. Vulnerable. Hurt. We needed comfort in a way normal friends couldn’t give us comfort.”  
She signed. “Why do you always sound so smart in the sweetest way?”  
Jack’s lips twisted. “I’m a psychologist, Hollis. It’s my job making people feel better.”  
“That’s why you detected my feelings within seconds.” She snorted. “And I feared I had lost my pokerface.”  
“You did actually. But that’s the pain. It makes us unravel. Probably that’s the reason those guys were hitting on you.”  
She raised an eyebrow. “What? Because they saw I was hurt?”  
Jack, still smirking, shook her head. “No. And you know it. It’s just that in this state, they weren’t intimidated by you.”  
Hollis snorted. For years, her bossy demeanor had helped her and been to her advantage. But, the older she got, the more she realized she was starting to get annoyed by it.

“I just want to be seen as a woman. As someone with feelings. Not as some kind of amazone who finds fun in yelling at and commanding some lower ranked men.”  
She dipped her chin and found herself staring into nothing while her heart’s beats became like painful thuds inside her chest.

“That’s it.” Jack’s soft, almost whispering voice, made her look up.   
“What?” Her own one cracked right in the middle and she swallowed, wondering when the hell she had become this sensitive.

The answer hit her only a second later as she looked into Jack’s eyes.   
Since she had found someone she could talk to. Someone who _understood_ her.

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Her hand was on her back, softly stroking up and down her spine. Something about that touchiness of hers had an incredibly soothing effect. “You’re sick of being alone. You are sick of men misinterpreting and using you.”

Hollis signed but she knew that was all the answer Jack needed. “Hey, come here.” Jack sloughed a little closer and opened up her arms. Hollis took the invitation and hugged her. She closed her eyes and inhaled, Jack’s sent, her devotion, her calmness.

“I don’t think this should happen again.” The words were out before she could really think about it. It made her tremble realizing how scared her voice was sounding.   
And how scared SHE was.

They broke apart and Jack smirked. “I don’t believe in friends with benefits, either.”   
Hollis stilled. “You think we can still go back to being friends? Like … stay friends?”  
“You are so damn cute when you’re insecure”, Jack laughed. She couldn’t find the humor in the situation, even though she wanted too. A playful smirked cooked up her friend’s lip. “I don’t think. I know.” She playfully bumped her shoulder. “Listen, we both feel the same, right? So what’s in our way, then?” As if that weren’t already enough, she send another point right after. “And think about it. Now we don’t even have to bother about changing clothes and sneak away into bathrooms.”   
That coaxed a laugh out of her.

And then the tears came. Pent-up tears, accumulated since the fast years, came flowing out of her.   
And as Jack reached around her shoulder, she realized it was the first time her tears didn’t hurt.

…

When Hollis left, Jack found herself smiling.   
She felt … freed.   
She was still in love with Jethro. But for one night, she had been completely free, and safe, and loved. Wanted. She felt like being with an equal, with someone who didn’t use her in a way she wasn’t comfortable with.   
And nothing would change that ever.

*

Hollis and her exchanged phone numbers. They didn’t hear from each other until late in the evening she received a massage by the LTC.

_Thank you. For everything._

She decided to text her back the next morning.

_You’re welcome._

_See you again?_

An hour later her phone buzzed.

_Got your 6. Always._

She had a smile on her face the whole day through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy international Women's Day everybody!


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Jack and Ellie spend their lunch break together and decided to get coffee after it. Ellie enjoyed those times out of the office, especially getting to know Jack on a different level.   
At NCIS it was always about work, at least had a hint of it, and as soon as they got the possibility to break out of this “nutshell” Ellie was able to appreciate Jack as herself, not only as Special Agent Sloane aka Doctor Sloane aka the cutest shrink in whole Washington.   
It had taken them some time to finally declare this, what they were sharing, as being friends. Since they had they met more often, went out together, sometimes with the guys, sometimes it was just them.

They had spoken about everything. Ellie had learned a lot about the older woman as she had also told her much more personal stuff – maybe that was what made her think.   
Something was different about her friend.

It took her the whole lunch before until she finally dared to ask. “Something happened.” She stated it over their coffee and shared piece of cake. “There is something you’re hiding.”  
Jack pursed her lip, seeming to contemplate about an answer. Then she nodded. “Okay since you all are probably gonna find out anyways, I’ll tell you so no gossip will come up.” Ellie saw her straightening up as if she were preparing for a huge speech. “Gibbs and I …”  
Ellie’s eyes went wide. And Jack, before even getting to the point, tilted her head and stared at her. “What does THAT look mean?”  
“You finally did it?” She felt excitement arising.   
A blink. “Did what?”  
Ellie made unmiming moves with her hands. “Get together! Like, really.”  
Jack clenched her jaw, swallowed. Her brown eyes were covered in an emotion she could only faintly describe as annoyance. She rolled her eyes. “The “thing” Jack. That’s what I’m talking about.” She pointed at her before digging her fork into the cake they had ordered. “And you know it exists.”  
As if someone had deflated her, Jack dwarfed in her seat. “Yes, I do. And … well …” She signed. “I kind of told him what I felt.”  
Ellie lifted her eyebrows. “Kind of?”  
Another sign. “Yeah.”  
She stared at her in exasperation, wating for her to go.   
Jack gave her an afflicted, almost resignated look. “El, you know how he is. And … let me say he neither disagreed nor jumped for it. He just … got interrupted by his phone and since that, we haven’t talked about it.” A deep exhale. “God I’m kinda glad this is out now.”  
Ellie pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry, Jack.”   
Her friend shrugged. “Well. At least I had some good company.”   
_Oh.  
_ Ellie gave her another glare.   
The smile on Jack’s face was … _interesting_. Almost as if she were … amused. “I met someone.”  
“Oh.” Ellie’s dropped-dead tone signalized the meaning.   
“Oh no, no!” Jack rowed back. “It’s not what you think. At least … not really.”   
THAT wasn’t less puzzling.   
“Okayyy”, Ellie strained it. “You’re confusing me, Jack. You’re speaking in riddles.”  
Her friend cleared her throat and folded her hands. “Well … I met her in a bar, and we were both lonely, she just broke up with a guy she had been dating as she found out he had a fiancé, and we had some nice chat about stupid boyfriends and all that love-thing and … one thing led to another and …” She made a move with her hands.  
Ellie stared. And slowly, felt her lips turn into a grin, eyes wide in surprise. “Wait, did you just say “her”?” That was when she realized she still had a piece of cake in her mouth, so she chewed and swallowed before going on. “You met a woman and … you …” She wiggled her eyebrows.   
Jack rolled her eyes. “Yes, Ellie. I’m not only into men.”  
Wow. That was news.   
Not necessarily unforeseen ones, but still. So Jack WAS playing for both sides.   
She grinned.   
“Nick never believe that thing between Izzy and you was just “friends” you know.”   
Jack signed but luckily didn’t seem offended.   
Still grinning, Ellie reached for her coffee. “So. What’s her name?”  
“Hollis.”   
Mid taking a sip she stopped dead in the movement. Swallowed. “Hollis … Mann?”   
Jack blinked. “Yeah. DO you know her?”

She didn’t get the second part. All she needed was the “Yeah”.

_Oh holy mother of Jesus …_

She gulped. “Does she know about Gibbs?”  
Jack shrugged. “Yes. I told her. That’s … kinda the reason why we hooked up.”

Okay. _What?_   
Ellie’s mind was running crazy.

“And she was totally fine with that?” She couldn’t help the shriek.   
Jack raised her eyebrow. “Why shouldn’t she be?”  
Ellie stared at her. “Because I mean … oh.”

And then she got it.   
Jack had NO IDEA who Hollis was for Gibbs and Gibbs for Hollis. She had probably not told her the NAME of the guy she had declared her love for.

She shook her head. “No, forget it, you should ask her.”   
Now it was Jack to stare at her. “I would if I knew what!”  
Ellie took a deep breath.   
_You’ve gotten yourself into that shit, Bishop …_   
“Okay. The thing is … Hollis …” She took a deep breath. “I met her a view years ago at NCIS. We had a case, together. And …” She fell silent.   
Jack’s gaze grew even more penetrating. “Come on Ellie, get to the point.”

_Okay then._

“Hollis and Gibbs were together, once.” Ellie pressed her lips together, preparing for an outburst.   
Nothing.   
All jack did was blink. A lot of times.

“So … let me get this straight.” She tilted her head. “I slept with my crush’s ex?”  
Ellie nodded, jaw clenched. “Hmh.”

Another moment of silence.   
“Oh.”   
Jack Sloane, emotional, heart-driven and powerful Jack Sloane just sat there, staring at her coffee and saying one word.   
And then she burst out laughing.

Ellie eyed her, worried and suspicious. “Jack?”  
“I need to process this for a moment.” She waved air towards her face. “Oh my god. This …” A chuckle. “This doesn’t happened often.”  
“It really doesn’t”, Ellie deadpanned, watched her totally confused.

It took Jack a whole minute until she had cooled down a little, and Ellie made up her mind she wouldn’t leave that little café before they had talked this through.

“So … what are you planning to do next?”, she asked, hoping to get an answer.   
Jack, still finding that whole story a lot more amusing than Ellie even though she was starting to not feel mortified anymore, just shrugged while following the coffee cup’s rim with her fingertip.   
“Oh I don’t know. Maybe just be honest with her. Ask her how she wooed him over.”

Ellie Bishop wouldn’t have thought Jack Sloane could surprise her again on this day, but that had just happened. Did she really just hear THAT out of her mouth?  
“That is a terrible idea, you know that?”  
“Hm.” Another playful shrug. God, that woman was a damn tease. “I don’t know. I’ll see. Test the waters.” She stilled and tilted her head as if a thought had just crossed her mind. “Well, no need for that anymore, since we’ve already jumped into the deep, open sea.”  
The double meaning was clear enough for her to swallow a much to hot gulp of coffee.   
“Jack, with all due respect, I really, really don’t need to know anything more.”   
That coaxed another heartfelt laughter out of her friend’s throat and she reached out to grab her hand. “Sorry, Ellie. It just feels good talking about stuff like that with someone.”

The athmosphere shifted, from her feeling awkward and not wanting to hear anything about that to them being their cosy, comfortable selves whenever they were around each other. Because that it was with Jack. Comfortable.   
“I’m always here for you, you know.”  
The interlaced hands. “Just don’t talk to me about you and Gibbs’ ex hooking up again, okay?”

They left the coffee shop with Jack wrapping her hand around Ellie’s arm, smiling widely, and Ellie started realizing that this was what friendship was about.

And if having chats with adorable and cheeky Jack Sloane contained talking about all kinds of weird relationship stuff, she knew awkwardness really was a thing she could live with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to end this story here :) 
> 
> Hope you liked it! And to anyone who might wonder what could happen next or if having any wishes, feel free to tell me!


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